Unfinished Dad

Nutramigen

I'm not one to take up causes.  In fact, you could say that the only cause I ever take up is to deride those that take up causes.  It was hard to get me riled up about Obama v. McCain, or even Lauren v. Heidi.  I'm not the parent to get obsessed with the best schools or the newest parenting methods.  Today, this ends.

Matilda is allergic to the protein in cow's milk.  This protein is called casein and avoiding it costs money.   When Annie was still drinking formula we used the generic Target version of Enfamil.  It cost $13 for a 26 ounce can.  The formula that does not contain casein—notice I use the singular here—is called Nutramigen.  It is also an Enfamil product, but because it is hypoallergenic, it is so tightly regulated that the knockoff companies can't produce a generic version.  We currently pay $27 for a 16 ounce can.  I could only muster a C in a sad mandatory class called "Math Thinking" at Bloomsburg University, but I'm pretty sure that this works out to almost four times the cost.

We go through two cans a week.  That works out to $240 a month just to feed a 10 month old.  You can imagine how annoyed I am every Monday when my grocery receipt has that 60 bucks tacked on at the end.

I needed to buy my Nutramigen a day early this week—I must have spilled a scoop somewhere—and when I got it home I noticed that the scoop was about one third larger.  I was worried that I would give Matilda the wrong amount so I gave the directions a quick once over.  Nothing seemed amiss.  Then when I added the formula to the water it looked different, creamier.  It dawned on me that the powder was less dense.

Upon a full inspection of the can, I discovered that the same size now weighs 3.4 ounces less.  I am being robbed by Enfamil and their parent company Mead Johnson.  The label clearly states that the old can yielded 113 fluid ounces of formula.  The new one?  87 ounces.  That's 24% less formula! 

Cause adopted.

Another quick nod to "Math Thinking" and I work out that this means my monthly formula tab has gone from $240 to $297.  Yes America, my family now pays $3500 a year on formula.

So what is a parent to do?  I could boycott Nutramigen, but that means a sick daughter or the purchase of a goat.  I could try soy milk, but something about those soy milk people just screams cause adopter.  The first thing I am going to do is write a really long, snarky letter to Mead Johnson.  This will make me feel better and provide some entertainment for you.

So if anyone out there has some experience with casein allergies or in battling huge corporations, drop me a line.  I will, of course, keep you posted on the growth of my very first cause.  Hopefully you won't feel any differently about me when all is said and done.

SYTYCD, Week 2, Night 2

Welcome to night two of So You Think You Can Dance, Week 2!  We had some technical difficulties tonight, so things may not be as smooth and as understandable as you are used to.  I have to say, I'm not sure that missing 35 minutes of the show was a big deal.  Tonight was the worst group of dancers that Emily and I have ever seen.  There will only be a short recap at the end, because there was really only one great dancer and he was 17 and ineligible for the show.The highlight of my night was crazy Nigel, who gave out a Vegas ticket to Phillip Chbeeb without any dancing, and gave the 17 year old an open ticket to Vegas for when he turns 18.

9:05 PM eagallo415:heyy

 me: hi

 eagallo415: i cant believe i'm watching alone

9:06 PM

 me: yes, let me take a second to explain to america what happened while you gather your thoughts

9:08 PM America, the first 35 minutes of tonight's SYTYCD was preempted by a little show called Wonder Pets on sprout. Ouch. The show's premise is that three classroom pets (duck, turtle, hamster) escape every night and help a different animal in distress. Every episode they get in a bit of trouble and they sing this to get through it..."What's gonna' work? Teamwork." Needless to say, i hate this show.

 eagallo415: ok so we are in LA, Nigel's hair is looking crazy, Adam is the 3rd judge, and Joshua from last year is in the audience

9:09 PM first up, sob story tap dancer Debra who barely missed the cut for the top 20 last year

  oh sorry her name is Bianca, her mom is Debra

9:10 PM

 me: Ugh, I love Adam. can't believe I'm missing this

9:11 PM

 eagallo415: a capella tap, very good. Mary calls her best female tapper on the show, everyone loves her, she's through to vegas

 me: nice. why is joshua there?

9:12 PM

 eagallo415: just watching

  eww creepy brother and sister pair that act more like boyfriend girlfriend

 me: Yum

9:13 PM

 eagallo415: hahahahha they're awful

  they keep falling and hitting each other by accident

 me: Since my eyes aren't watching I hope they make out

 eagallo415: haha they are so awkward and keep getting stuck in weird positions

9:14 PM Nigel is freaked out

 me: again, yum

9:15 PM

 eagallo415: haha they got sent home but they frolicked down the street holding hands

9:16 PM

 me: creepy, i guess they thought that the novelty would score them points

 eagallo415: they guessed wrong

  SYTYCD doesn't need incest

9:17 PM

 fat awkward girl...end of story

 me: hahahahahahaha

 eagallo415: Nigel called her shape un dancer like

9:18 PM

 me: let me know when we go to commercial so this dude can snack

  un dancer like ouch

 eagallo415: oh sorry i just fast forwarded...next commercial

 me: word

9:20 PM

 eagallo415: ok now we've reached the block of awkward people with weird styles...one was a fairy medicine dance

 me: yes, i love that dance

  did she heal anyone?

 eagallo415: me

 me: you're on a roll tonight

9:21 PM

 eagallo415: oh lindy-hoppers

 me: eh

9:22 PM

 eagallo415: enjoyable, but not good

  ooh Adam is doing lindy hop with her

9:23 PM

 me: I can't believe I'm missing this!

 eagallo415: aww very cute

 me: Aaaaaaaaaaargh

 eagallo415: haha they actually did pretty good

9:24 PM

 haha Kaytee and Joshua are judging Adam

 me: What!? C'mon! I love Kaytee. I love Joshua. Aaaaaaaaaargh

9:27 PM

 ok we are at asian ballroom dancers that auditioned last year and again just missed top

 me: I don't remember them. any good?

 eagallo415: so far yeah

9:29 PM Nigel says the guy is way better than last year and the girl is amazing (Ricky and Oska)

 me: cool, where do these people go to train in the off season?

 eagallo415: haha i don't know

  they both went to vegas

 me: good for them

9:30 PM

 eagallo415: montage of really good dancers

 me: we need a montage

 eagallo415: one a ballerina, we don't see many of those

 me: cause they are stupid

  Okay people, the boss is back and he's watching a guy who is good and thinks he's even better.

  We shall call him red shorts boy until we learn his name

  Emily, what's his name?

 eagallo415: he was amazing

  i missed it

  they'll show it again

9:34 PM

 me: is he wearing rouge

 eagallo415: why is he not eligible

  this is so unfair

 me: whaaaaaaat?

  i thought 17 was in

  This is shocking

 eagallo415: no 18

  oh he's going to vegas in the fall

9:35 PM

 me: Nigel gave him an early ticket

  whoah

 eagallo415: Jason was his name

 me: Okay, so put him on the list for the fall when we do this all over again

  it looks like a lot of people will fall this segment

9:37 PM

 omg Cat what was that wrestling move?

 eagallo415: hahah i have no idea

 me: i want her to elbow me

 eagallo415: this guy is inspired by a guy in jail

 me: i know, and he can move his hair

  that's dancing

9:38 PM

 eagallo415: he's only 19

  whoa that back move

 me: I think the poppers are my favorites

 eagallo415: yeah i like them too

 me: let's go ahead and put jailbird guy on our list of potentials

9:39 PM

 eagallo415: yeah i like him...choreography?

 me: no way, though to Vegas

 eagallo415: he reminds me of Dom

 me: yeah yeah

9:40 PM Nigel referred to it as "hair choreography"

 eagallo415: yep choreography, they need to make sure he can do other things

  haha i love thtat

 me: i know, sorry for him

 eagallo415: whoa stacey house is crazy

 me: this girl is on drugs

 eagallo415: yes

  i love her leg warmers

 me: i'm afraid

 eagallo415: she's having a siezure

9:41 PM

 me: she has one of those big rings that people store cocaine in

 eagallo415: she lives on a farm

9:42 PM

 me: she is crying and i don't feel bad

  we don't even need to see amanda kerby dance she's through...her dad has MS

 eagallo415: yeah exactly

9:43 PM

 we're having a little trouble hearing the sob story cuz our sound is being funny

 me: okay, we need to find out what song this is, she's the fourth girl to use it

 eagallo415: oh i know this song

 me: who is it?

9:44 PM

 eagallo415: Sia i think

  i'll tell you in one second let me pull up my itunes

 me: okay go

 eagallo415: yeah Sia- Breathe Me

 me: hmmm

  do you like it?

9:45 PM

 eagallo415: the song? yes

 me: amanda?

 eagallo415: yes

 me: me too

  she's very mature

 eagallo415: how old is she?

 me: oh, and hot

  not sure

 eagallo415: Nigel even said he was distracted by her beauty

 me: funny

9:46 PM

 let's see this girl in the next Step Up movie...takin' it to the streets of 

Chevy Chase

9:47 PM

 phillip!

 eagallo415: phillip!

 me: wow, nigel is crazy tonight, he put phillip right in

  no dancing?

 eagallo415: i know crazy

9:48 PM

 me: yes, a car accident. a semi truck. a fire. a ticket to vegas

 eagallo415: certainly

  wait are they dating

 me: um

9:49 PM

 how can they watch her with phillip up there?

 eagallo415: she's not doing much dancing

 me: no, she's a pole

9:50 PM

 choreography despite her sweet sob story

 eagallo415: yeah agreed

  ahh i can't hear anything

 me: tough night for sytycd watchers

9:51 PM

 your mother is sabotaging us

 eagallo415: true statement

  whoa straight through

  shocking

 me: really? vegas?

9:52 PM

 eagallo415: they just like anything or anyone associated with philip

 me: me too

  i don't think you want to be one of these people that they show a short version of their routine to us

9:53 PM

 eagallo415: no certainly not

 me: uh oh, Kevin

 eagallo415: oh no Kevin is bad news

 me: really bad

 eagallo415: Shakiro

 me: I have a prediction...you will marry Shakiro

 eagallo415: he is not my latin lover

9:54 PM

 me: Cat is so good to people

  look at his package

 eagallo415: ahah i rather not

 me: Oh MY God

 eagallo415: whoa he can shake it

 me: he is shaped like a pear

9:55 PM

 eagallo415: haha

 me: those jeans are from my closet

 eagallo415: from 1984?

 me: haha

 eagallo415: i love moving my abdomen

 me: who doesn't?

9:56 PM

 eagallo415: Mary doesn't like his gyrating

 me: no accounting for taste i guess

  shakiro is so sad

9:57 PM

 on a scale of 1 to 10 Lauren is a 9

 eagallo415: i love her

 me: poor chanel, i liked her

9:58 PM

 eagallo415: me too

 me: have you ever given something 100%? I mean really.

 eagallo415: umm probably in swimming

9:59 PM

 me: i don't know if I have ever left that much out there...i should get on that

 eagallo415: you should work on that

  save it for the audition

 me: that guy!

 eagallo415: SEX IS BACK

 me: you are funny, i forgot about our audition

  I don't like anyone who says WHAT WHAT

 eagallo415: me neither

10:01 PM

 me: nooooooooooooooooooooo

 eagallo415: its mia time

  love the bench dance

  my favorite

 me: I don't think I could like this season any more than last

  one of mine too

10:02 PM

 eagallo415: oh no tango/swing combo

  this is going to be tragic

 me: very

  they are going to play with "gender roles"

10:03 PM

 eagallo415: what the heck is this

 me: you just have to wonder if they are serious

10:04 PM

 i love when mary laughs at people

  i feel bad for them, but I love it

 eagallo415: haha Mary's hilarious

 me: he's more east coast

 eagallo415: she's totally lindy hop

  Mia wants them to feel the energy

10:05 PM

 me: of course

  nigel wants them to continue dancing on a social level

 eagallo415: Nick Nasty is scary

 me: uh, nick nasty filthy

10:06 PM

 eagallo415: is he a work out instructor?

 me: aerobacise

  he may kill someone

10:07 PM

 he quit

 eagallo415: he's crying

 me: awwwww...he ran out of energy

  he is ready to kill nigel...

 eagallo415: he's defensive already

 me: very

10:08 PM

 when a person commits like that i guess it's easy to be embarrassed

  wait, i missed that what did he say to mia

 eagallo415: i'm not quite sure

10:09 PM

 me: at least he's a badass, he can go home with that

 eagallo415: YES dance battle with sex

10:10 PM

 me: no one on earth knows what we are talking about

  this guy doesn't even like himself on tape

10:11 PM

 eagallo415: bad sign

 me: hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

 eagallo415: hahahaha he's just jumping

 me: press pause k is home, i need a sec

 eagallo415: they're going to kill you hurry up

 me: okay go

10:12 PM

 this guy is fucking nuts

  the handstands?

 eagallo415: haha i like Mary's interpretation of the music

 me: waaaaaaaaawaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw

10:13 PM

 "it sounds like the music was beating the shit out of you"--mia

 eagallo415: hahah Seattle has no talent

 me: it rains too much

10:14 PM

 we need more of that clip of the guy with only one pant let leg

 eagallo415: haha thats my favorite style

10:15 PM

 me: Nigel doesn't need to yell

 eagallo415: kelsea's looking good

 me: K says that seeing all fo the bad contemporary dancers make you realize how good a girl like her is

10:16 PM Mia is in love

  K says she looks like she's in Coraline

 eagallo415: yeah i liked her a lot

 me: me too

 eagallo415: he's right sonja would love her

 me: mia will feel slighted

10:17 PM

 eagallo415: beautiful disasterous weirdo

  -mia

 me: hahaha jesus

  wtf

  not to vegas?

 eagallo415: no one went to vegas?

 me: kelsea was slighted

10:18 PM

 only six people in choreography!

 eagallo415: no 23

 me: oh

 eagallo415: but only 3 people went to vegas

 me: yay kelsea!

 do you think that cat could make iloveyoujoe one word like she does with soyouthinkyoucandance

 eagallo415: perhaps

 me: “that was rubbish”

10:20 PM

 eagallo415: wooooo i really like him

 me: we need a name for this guy

 eagallo415: i can't write his name sorry 

hawaii?

 me: kupi?

 eagallo415: kupi's good

 me: mia has a boner

  they have the same hair

10:21 PM

 eagallo415: so much so she had to hide her face

  porno

  haha

 me: haha

  too funny, mia has faith in him

 eagallo415: aww mark

10:22 PM

 me: i liked him

  David "sex" soller will get a video link

10:23 PM

 eagallo415: his mom's his biggest fan

  wise leo is sex's rival

 me: The guy from kiev is the character from Everything's Illuminated

 eagallo415: hahahahaha

 me: leonid makes me happy

10:24 PM

 eagallo415: you could be like him

 me: i AM like him

 eagallo415: this is aerobacise

 me: where's his glow stick

 eagallo415: and strobe light

 me: spin move

  jump

 eagallo415: spin move jump is amazing

10:25 PM Nigel is judging it like its a real thing

 me: i think he has liver problems

  he's very yellow

 eagallo415: yes he is

 me: "it's like you were at a rave"

  "yes"

 eagallo415: haha

 me: he was like the rasta guy from last night

10:26 PM

 eagallo415: yeah they should audition together

 me: sex asked his mother if he could battle

 eagallo415: she was like just go go

 me: what the hell else is he going to do

10:27 PM

 eagallo415: SEX WITH LEO

10:28 PM

 Sex stretching is good

  I can't believe they are doing this by round

10:29 PM

 eagallo415: spin move conquers body rolls

 me: Without joking, sex is somewhere on the autism spectrum, no?

 eagallo415: i believe so

 me: so who wins?

 eagallo415: sex is exhausted

  leo wins

 me: i think sex

  they're holding hands

10:30 PM

 eagallo415: i love it

 me: mia says leo

  mary says leo

 eagallo415: thank you mary!

 me: nigel says david, er, sex

 eagallo415: sex just wasn't battling enough

 me: i know

  nigel is a father figure to sex

10:31 PM

 eagallo415: what nigel is putting him into choreography

 me: tough love man

  someone has to dance with him

  poor girl

 eagallo415: i know that sucks

10:32 PM

 me: someone get leo a liver!

 eagallo415: leo is so proud of his win

10:33 PM

 me: sex is sweating, a lot

 eagallo415: whoa that girl is beasting Sex

 me: beasting?

 eagallo415: aka she was awesome

  and he wasn't

  porno is through

 me: hmmm...must be a kid's term

  um, tonight was super weak

 eagallo415: only 11 from seattle?

10:34 PM

 me: ouch

 eagallo415: vegas starts next week?

 me: yes

  seems early

 eagallo415: i know but i'm excited

 me: i forgot they have to choreograph themselves

  were there any standouts?

10:35 PM

 eagallo415: nope

 me: should be an easy recap

 eagallo415: yep

10:36 PM

 me: see you then! i'm looking forward to some real dancing

 eagallo415: yep! me too

 me: bye

 eagallo415: bye

Recap Recap: The highlight of the night was crazy Nigel, who gave out a Vegas ticket to Phillip Chbeeb without any dancing, and gave the 17 year old an open ticket to Vegas for when he turns 18.  Other than the 17 year old, I think the best dancer of the night was a popper named, uh, I don't know his name.  Let's call him the dude who can move his pink hair to choreography.  If he can figure out some other styles, he will be awesome.

SYTYCD, Week 2

Welcome back everyone, to your favorite day of the week.  It's Joe and Emily's super duper SYTYCD recap!  It was a rousing night in Miami and Memphis, with plenty of scandalous dances and the usual sob stories from pretty girls that would have gone through to Vegas based solely on their looks dancing anyway.  For those of you counting the hours since our last post (it has been 144, Dani) you may proceed into the depths of our chat.  However, for those of you counting the hours until this post is over (it will be 144, Jill), you may proceed to the recap of the recap at the end.

8:26 PM eaallo415: alright we're getting restless over here

8:29 PM me: let's do this

eagallo415: ok

me: we can do a countdown, get your tv ready

8:30 PM eagallo415: ok i'm ready

 me: 3

  2

  1

  go

8:33 PM Emily! It's week two! And you know what? We are back in the city that gave us that tango dancer from last year who was a bit, shall we say, promiscuous looking

 eagallo415: hahahah true true

  i hated her

 me: what was her name

  ?

eagallo415: who knows

 me: Yay! Tyce!

 eagallo415: yes! i love him

8:34 PM me: I feel weird having Kristen here. I am self conscious about my dorkiness

eagallo415: haha its ok she loves you for who you are

 me: hahaha

8:35 PM Tony has long name...he is going to suck

eagallo415: oh no..tony style is a bad sign

me: I think you have tony style on the dance floor...minus the kinkiness of course

eagallo415: hey now

i'm not that terrible

8:36 PM

 i think he's wearing orthopedic shoes

me: awwwww...

eagallo415: ooh awkward split finish

  fancy

me: Tony Style!

8:37 PM eagallo415: wow tyce got even more flamboyant

8:38 PM me: This blog post is going to be "flush it like a public toilet bad," and yes, he is out of control

His shoes are in a box!

eagallo415: hahaha

oh no tony is dying

8:39 PM me: He's faking, not dying

eagallo415: priscilla is looking promising

me: Is tyce having an orgasm? (asks my wife)

eagallo415: perhaps

8:40 PM me: she is good though, a bit intense for my taste, but good

eagallo415: yeah but they like that intense emotion

me: "I am Priscilla, I am a dancer, that's who I am" Ouch

8:41 PM eagallo415: she's turning tyce straight

me: Oh, the promiscuous teacher from

Miami

was named Suzie!

eagallo415: yes!

me: go, i am on tony and the banana

8:44 PM Is Janette going to go through?

eagallo415: i think yes

me: Me too, but the guy goes home again

eagallo415: hmm i think he'll at least go to choreography

me: hmmm, Romulo is a badass name

8:45 PM My stomach looks like Janette's

eagallo415: yeah ok

me: You haven't seen me in a while...it's crazy

8:46 PM eagallo415: wow well that’s impressive

me: Good for them, you know couples never go straight through

eagallo415: i know that’s awesome

8:47 PM oh no another set of twins

me: I think the twins are Suzie's sisters

Whoah, she appeared out of nowhere!

Did she say lyrical dancing?

eagallo415: i wish i had hot pink dancing

i mean hot pink eye shadow

8:48 PM and yes she did say lyrical dancing

me: somehow hot pink dancing made sense

 eagallo415: those moves are sweet

me: Kristen says that is your dance costume from your hip hop video

8:49 PM eagallo415: haha no mine was pleather and sequins...way cooler

me: yes, way cooler

eagallo415: whoa they made it up in one day

me: very, very surprising

8:50 PM okay, didn't we say 10 minutes ago that we love Tyce?

eagallo415: yeah now he's getting on my nerves

"ding ding ding you get that bell"

me: ugh

a milkshake full of tylenol?

eagallo415: haha

8:51 PM it makes perfect sense

me: The Tyce Show

Ah, a little Cat to mellow things out

eagallo415: SHWAMMMMMMM

8:53 me:  Oooh, Lauren has a full time job

She is very, very cute

8:55 PM eagallo415: yeah i know...do you think she'll do dances during the regular show?

me: I hope so, maybe only one

I think Janette was the best from day one. You?

eagallo415: yeah and priscilla

8:56 PM me: true true

8:57 PM Holy Shit

Why are her boobs out?

eagallo415: haha i don't konw

me: Wislande!

Ewww, did I just see her bajingo?

eagallo415: that may have just happened

8:58 PM me: she bowed!

did I spell bowed right?

eagallo415: um i think

why are they even critiquing her...obviously she was bad

8:59 PM me: no idea, they are being too nice

Tyce is rattled by her

9:00 PM Oh, she is going to focus on school. Good girl

eagallo415: someone needs to teach her how to put her boobs in her shirt

me: Nicole just snorted

And she had a shirt with her name on it

9:01 PM Eric the tapper will Rule!

eagallo415: yeah i know tappers are always good

i think you're slightly ahead of me

9:02 PM me: sorry

eagallo415: i like that his nickname is silky

me: how many seconds do you think?

great moonwalk eagallo415: ill tell you as soon as he finishes

moonwalk now

9:03 PM i liked his little flying thing at the end

me: yeah, he was good, he needs to go through, but is sounds like choreography

eagallo415: yeah agreed

9:04 PM me: The best reason to dance...scoring girls, I love his honesty. Annnnd Vegas

eagallo415: i know shocker!

9:06 PM me: We need SY TYCD tees!

eagallo415: i'll get right on that

me: I wore my I Heart Chevy Chase tee the other day

9:07 PM eagallo415: hahah and how were the reactions?

me: not positive

and i didn't even leave the house

eagallo415: ooh i like her sort of gothic tutu

me: Me too. Is she good?

eagallo415: i think?

me:Paris is a good name to remember too

9:08 PM eagallo415: yeah true

wow mary loves her

me: Yeah

9:09 PM eagallo415: i think contemporary dancers are over represented

me: I will shave Tyce's beard before this year is over

So do I...it's kind of a made up style

eagallo415: its awful...he looks guido

9:10 PM me: it looks like you could hang something from it, like an ornament

 so pointy

eagallo415: ooh african dance is cool

me: He is crazy athletic

eagallo415: yeah

9:11 PM whoaaa "tickle her fancy"??

me: did we just reference Mary's bajingo?

eagallo415: yes

oh Nigel

me: not sure choreography will go so well

9:12 PM uh-oh sob story after the break

eagallo415: i know

  and it doesn't look promising

9:13 PM me:Talia

Not much to say here

9:14 PM They are really pushing the widow angle

She has to go through

eagallo415: but just to choreography

and i don't think she'll make it past that

me: Yeah, probably right

What style is this?

9:15 PM eagallo415: hip hop

me: wait,she sucks

eagallo415: yeah...she was decent for a bit

me: no go for me...i know they have a show to sell, but it didn't work

9:16 PM Tyce's beard is shaped exactly like the mounting brackets that i used for the shelves in Tilda's room

9:17 PM eagallo415: haha you can't get over that beard can you

 me: no, it will haunt me tonight

eagallo415: african dancer through

 me: I thought the girl with Geo looked good

9:18 PM eagallo415: talia through

 me: Yeah, a good sob story always wins in the end

eagallo415: 32 from Miami, impressive

 me: yeah, that's a lot

 me: Emily, we are an hour in! I love this!

eagallo415: Yayyy

9:20 PM yay lil C

 me: Oooh, I don't like when people call it the dirty south. Do you guys say that at college (Ed’s Note: Emory in Atlanta)

  Lil C is one of the best

 eagallo415: no because Atlanta isn't really the south

 me: oh Kherington was amazing.

eagallo415: we do say ya'll though

  oh i forgot he says buck all the time

 me: She was my favorite

9:21 PM eagallo415: yeah i think i may have liked chelsea more than her though

 me: My feelings may just have been base on her looks

eagallo415: true statement

 me: Um, Memphis Jukin and this dude rule

9:22 PM eagallo415: yeah i agree completely

  lets learn that

 me: I am a Marico fan

  WOW

  I already know it

  I will teach you on vacation this summer

 eagallo415: sounds good

9:23 PM me: Lil C does not always make complete sense

9:24 PM eagallo415: no and sometimes he makes up words

 me:haha, he does

 eagallo415: wooo jukin in vegas

 me: I love that he is a "friendly" cop

9:25 PM eagallo415: oh no his cousin was the ugly BSB

 me: Okay, I am on record as hating this back street boy guy

  he was ugly?

  i don't know many of them

 eagallo415: yeah howie was the lame one

  i know because when i was little we used to pick the one we wanted to marry and no one wanted to have him

 me: you are not old

9:26 PM he dances like will ferrell

 eagallo415: haha well his mom taught him how to be a man

 me: he thinks it went well

9:27 PM "martial arts and gymnastics and stuff"

  he had to cut out all the big power moves

eagallo415: what a shame

9:28 PM  me: get rid of him! he's awful!

eagallo415: seriously stop giving him real advice

 me: uncle Lil C is giving him tips

  I can't wait to see him next year

9:29 PMeagallo415: the power moves will probably really make a difference

 me: no doubt

 me: I think I need a BSB cd to feel it

9:30 PM 20 bucks says Steven (Ed’s Note: Steven is Emily’s brother and will be going to school in

Memphis next fall and he likes Reggae.  He does not have dreads) looks like Christopher by the time his sophomore year is over

eagallo415: haha yeah

 me: ecstasy does wonders for the moves

 eagallo415: yeah perhaps

  its ELECTRIC

 me: it definitely is

9:32 PM why is Steven/Christopher so mad

eagallo415: because they aren't open to his vibes

 me: he's going to cry

  if he cried I would put him through

  GO

9:33 PMeagallo415: ok the hair flip was the best

MIAAAAAAAA

 me: ouch

9:34 PM Oh, do you like Mia Michaels?

 eagallo415: no i just feel like the show wouldn't be the same without her

  i mean come on...no dead dad tribute dance?

 me: True, she's like a crazy aunt

9:35 PM I forgot about that tribute

eagallo415: it was terrible...flowers and walking and thats it

 me: ugh

  Did Lauren win her season?

eagallo415: i don't think so

9:36 PM me: Caitlin is good and she has the sister thing going for her

eagallo415: yeah i liked her...i can't believe they stopped her in a back walkover

9:37 PM me: ouch

eagallo415: only dancing for 5 years?!

 me: Kristen thinks that was Kherington's routine

  yeah, that is amazing

  Okay, Caitlin is my season five dark horse...she's going far

9:38 PM eagallo415: i like her too...but watch out for her sister

 me: maybe a little last spot in the top 20 action like natalie and kaytee

eagallo415: oh no that could be tough

9:40 PM me:the teaser showed nigel saying that it's always terrible splitting family up...yeah right...they can't wait to make those girls cry

eagallo415: yeah thats going to be one of those..."so we won't!" moments

 me: okay, this pretty girl just told the world her dad committed suicide

  and, she's through!

9:41 PMeagallo415: wait did you see her already?

 me: no, just a prediction

eagallo415: yeah and she's good

 me: contemporary, blah

  and why do all the girls dance to this song?

  do you know who it is?

9:42 PMeagallo415: no but i kind of like it

 me: you could try out

9:43 PM they kind of stick with picking hot people

eagallo415: yeah..maybe ugly dancers don't exist

 me: hahahaha

  I exist

  and christopher the rasta was ugly

eagallo415: whoa travis can stretch

9:44 PMme: yeah, and I believe his dad not caring about his dancing

  i mean, really, i do

9:45 PMeagallo415: i know i think so too

  hmm could we have another Travis to follow?

 me: that reminds me I have that pair of cut off shorts with different length legs that you left here

eagallo415: haha good i've been missing those

9:46 PMme: he is a monster

  a big dude

9:47 PMeagallo415: hmm too weak Travis is out

 me: wait, travis is like 30 years old

  sad

eagallo415: brother tappers?

 me: no

  no

  he has a whoopie cushion

9:48 PM

eagallo415: whoopie cushions do not belong in dance

 me: hey, I remember evan from last year and thought he was a shoo in for the top 20

 eagallo415: oh i don't remember him

 me: he had bushier hair

eagallo415: whoa he's good

9:49 PM me: i know, i couldn't believe he got cut

  very graceful

  my favorite of the day

eagallo415: yeah he was awesome

 me: Evan for top 20, c'mon

9:50 PM mary is already setting him up for failure talking about fighting for his life with solos and stuff

eagallo415: i know...and nigel called him short

 me: i missed that, ouch

eagallo415: woo vegas for evan

 me: wooooooooooooooo

9:52 PMme:Okay, my wife just said that she is going to start a blog about SYTYCD audition tips

eagallo415: so the big brother is a complete joke right?

 me: definitely

  just there for moral support

eagallo415: hahaha what??

  she's stealing our thunder

 me: right!

9:53 PM trying out together is a bad idea, don't they know that means choreography?

eagallo415: seriously

  which one is better?

  i think pink

 me: yeah, pink. blue almost fell

9:54 PM eagallo415: and pink had better lines

 me: by lines you don't mean body do you?

hmmm

eagallo415: haha no

  i mean her kicks and stuff

 me: ah

  uh oh, ryan

9:55 PMhe is nailing the farts!

  i love it!

eagallo415: hahah

  they really add a special something

  especially the finale

 me: i always say that!

9:56 PM Go Ryan!

eagallo415: he actually isn't terrible

  wooo

 me: no

  let him through

eagallo415: i think he's going

9:57 PM me: crap

  YAY! Vegas!

eagallo415: woooo

 me: those bros are from the 40's

eagallo415: haha yep

9:58 PM me: Kristen wants to you to marry one of those boys...which one do you want?

eagallo415: umm the non bald one

 me: gotcha

eagallo415: yeah pink is through!

  aw i want anna in

  yayyy

 me: of course, she is too pretty and sad not to go

9:59 PM go Travis go

eagallo415: Too Weak Travis

 me: does anna have a new daddy in her life already?

  you were so right about the sisters

eagallo415: both sisters in!

 me: blue is through

10:00 PMeagallo415: yeah i know i called it

  lots of siblings from 

memphis

 me: Okay, so priscilla best of the night?

10:01 PM eagallo415: yeah or Evan

 me: good, I'm so happy you like Evan

eagallo415: so we're on for auditioning for in fall?

 me: um, yes

eagallo415: well the auditions are in July so we better get our tshirts and routine together

10:02 PMme: what will my style be I wonder

 Em, we are doing it all over again tomorrow night.

America is so lucky.

eagallo415: yess

10:03 PM talk to you then!

me: Bye.  Work on your moves for July

eagallo415: got it

Recap Recap: Not as many great dancers this week.  The best were Priscilla, Caitlin and Evan, with honorable mention to Marico for his Memphis Jukin', Travis for his understanding-football-coaching-dad, and Anna for her ridiculously strong sob story.  The lowlight of the night was The Tyce Show, which has to stop soon or your two favorite SYTYCD bloggers may quit this gig altogether.

...And "Two" Claps Too!

More motion picture of Tilda.  Unlike Annie, who clapped spontaneously and with glee, Tilda claps deliberately and kind of with one hand.  This is strange since Tilda laughs on a whim and all of Annie's laughs are now almost completely fake guffaws laid out there for the world to love...or hate.

Showin' The Love For "Two"

Before Tilda was born, she was known affectionately as "Two."  My wife and I couldn't fathom our second child being any different than Annie, thus the moniker.  Well, Tilda's been around for about a year now, and her laid back attitude and robust paleness are so different than Annie that it seems silly to have ever thought she wouldn't be her own person.  Unfortunately when you are "Two" you don't get quite the same level of attention as when you are "One."  Annie used to get a video posted of her when her hair grew, but Tilda could scale Kilimanjaro with nary a word.  No longer.  Below is Tilda's version of Annie's throwing video from about a year ago.  My apologies for the nauseating angles, "One" kept screaming at the attention heading "Two's" way.

So You Think You Can Dance, Week 1

Editor's Note: A summary has been added—grudgingly—to the end of this post.

In July 2007 I had a baby.  That baby kept me up...a lot.  Sometimes I would find myself on the couch watching TV.  Most times I would stare blankly at ESPN classic or an old movie.  One night, my sister in law Emily (now a junior in college as a point of reference on the demographic I fall into) was watching some cheesy dance show on DVR.  I had nowhere else to go and no chance of sleeping, so I tucked in for some crappy television.  The next thing I knew, I was enjoying the couples and the judges and the host (a lot).  The following week the whole family watched it live and we were all hooked.  Two season later, I am a full fledged fan of So You Think You Can Dance.  Remember a week or so ago when I told you I was beyond embarrassment?  Below is more proof.  A blow by blow account of this season's first episode via instant message with Emily!  Woo-Hoo!

At 7:57:42 PM Joe Poulas says: Whew! Just made it.

7:57:57 PM Emily Gallo says: ahhh our tv freaked out!

7:58:06 PM Joe Poulas says: Is it working?

7:58:06 PM Emily Gallo says: ...and now its fixed, thank god!

7:58:15 PM Joe Poulas says: Woo Hoo!

8:00:10 PM Emily Gallo says: yesssssssssss

8:00:15 PM Joe Poulas says: Here we go.

8:00:18 PM Joe Poulas says: I'm so excited

8:00:22 PM Emily Gallo says: me too

8:00:49 PM Joe Poulas says: Okay, so let's introduce you to the world. Emily Gallo (sister in law).  Please, in one word or less, tell us a little bit about you

8:00:58 PM Emily Gallo says: awesome

8:01:54 PM Emily Gallo says: oh mary...

8:02:00 PM Joe Poulas says: oh mary...

8:02:26 PM Joe Poulas says: For those out there that don't watch, mary is a bit dramtic no?  Does it bother you?...I love it

8:02:36 PM Emily Gallo says: hahah i love her...and her screams

8:03:08 PM Joe Poulas says: Should we deal with my love of Cat Deeley now or save it?

8:03:16 PM Emily Gallo says: haha well i'm sure it will come up

8:04:18 PM Joe Poulas says: currently swooning...

8:04:28 PM Emily Gallo says: you like her Brooklyn dance?

8:04:52 PM Joe Poulas says: more than I can explain here

8:04:52 PM Emily Gallo says: ooh i like tabitha and napolean

8:05:06 PM Joe Poulas says: yes, and i forgot how much i liked chelsea

8:05:19 PM Emily Gallo says: i know...did you know she was one of the experts on dancing with the stars this year?

8:05:29 PM Joe Poulas says: no, how great for her

8:05:31 PM Joe Poulas says: she was great

8:05:34 PM Emily Gallo says: yeah she was

8:05:53 PM Joe Poulas says: uh oh sob story for the first profile

8:06:04 PM Emily Gallo says: i know...do you think she'll be good or bad?

8:06:06 PM Joe Poulas says: a dancer with rheumatoid arthritis...shoe in

8:06:17 PM Emily Gallo says: agreed

8:07:02 PM Joe Poulas says: A prediction.  We will be seeing much more of Gabi Rojas.

8:07:08 PM Emily Gallo says: yeah for sure

8:07:59 PM Joe Poulas says: a standing O in audtions...top 20?

8:08:15 PM Emily Gallo says: sounds like it

8:08:26 PM Emily Gallo says: i guess a life in the circus makes you awesome

8:08:38 PM Emily Gallo says: a mary scream already?!

8:08:40 PM Joe Poulas says: i wish we were so lucky

8:08:48 PM Joe Poulas says: WOOOOOOOO!

8:08:52 PM Emily Gallo says: haha she could have been in that bird dance?

8:08:58 PM Emily Gallo says: with the weird costumes

8:09:21 PM Joe Poulas says: funny, I wonder if a single reader will know what you are talking about...I will add links for the uneducated

8:09:32 PM Emily Gallo says: good plan

8:10:16 PM Emily Gallo says: these mutation guys are creepy

8:11:22 PM Joe Poulas says: very creepy...I don't think Nigel likes them...I bet they get split up

8:11:45 PM Emily Gallo says: yeah probably

8:13:11 PM Emily Gallo says: hmm choreography i guess

8:13:33 PM Joe Poulas says: that must be nerve wracking...they won't do so hot

8:13:39 PM Emily Gallo says: haha no not at all

8:14:15 PM Joe Poulas says: okay, first commercial...time for this guy to order some Chinese...and whoah...whoah

8:14:27 PM Joe Poulas says: We need to discuss something when I get back...whoah

8:14:33 PM Emily Gallo says: haha ok

8:18:37 PM Emily Gallo says: its back hurry!

8:19:20 PM Joe Poulas says: I’m here.  I just had a thought...we need to try out for this show next year.  I'm very good...not sure about you though

8:19:32 PM Emily Gallo says: hahah well clearly anyone can try out

8:19:44 PM Joe Poulas says: what is that supposed to mean?

8:20:05 PM Emily Gallo says: i mean if this awkward couple can audition we could do it

8:20:10 PM Joe Poulas says: YES!

8:20:41 PM Joe Poulas says: They are much nicer to the contestants than the Idol people

8:20:56 PM Emily Gallo says: yeah they really are...but it’s still early

8:21:11 PM Joe Poulas says: haha

8:21:55 PM Joe Poulas says: Okay, so tap dancing is cool

8:22:08 PM Emily Gallo says: yeah it is...you should pick it up

8:22:18 PM Joe Poulas says: right, hahahahaha

8:22:35 PM Joe Poulas says: I like him

8:22:45 PM Emily Gallo says: yeah and apparently he can do everything

8:23:10 PM Joe Poulas says: Cool, what was his name?

8:23:21 PM Emily Gallo says: i don't remember

8:23:29 PM Emily Gallo says: Pete

8:23:41 PM Joe Poulas says: Wow, right to Vegas.  Ah, you are a few seconds ahead of me.

8:23:59 PM Emily Gallo says: oh ok i'll try not to ruin anything for you

8:26:01 PM Emily Gallo says: oh man this is a tough one

8:26:39 PM Joe Poulas says: Yeah, Tiffany has had spinal problems her whole life...I am conflicted...she is pretty strange to look at.  Are you inspired?

8:27:02 PM Emily Gallo says: well she was good for her limited mobility

8:27:27 PM Joe Poulas says: whoah, 3 vertabrae, though I think the normal spine has more than 7 like she thinks

8:27:41 PM Emily Gallo says: yeah same...i feel like theres 12 or something

8:28:36 PM Joe Poulas says: A quick google search reveals 24...how can she even walk?

8:28:51 PM Emily Gallo says: i have no idea...and yeah i just googled it too

8:30:07 PM Joe Poulas says: I have healthy kids...what could I complain about?

8:30:18 PM Emily Gallo says: nothing i guess

8:31:28 PM Joe Poulas says: I just realized that I am in need of a bra that can be worn seven ways...hold your comments please, especially about any stay at home dad weight I may have put on

8:31:46 PM Emily Gallo says: hahaha

8:32:08 PM Emily Gallo says: so i was just remembering that kaytee didn't actually win last year

8:32:12 PM Emily Gallo says: how weird is that?

8:32:28 PM Joe Poulas says: I know, Joshua was a bit of a surprise

8:32:38 PM Joe Poulas says: They were so good together too

8:32:48 PM Emily Gallo says: yeah...is that how she spelled her name or did i make that up? i thought i was something weird

8:33:01 PM Joe Poulas says: I think Kaytee...I may have googled her today

8:33:06 PM Emily Gallo says: hahaha

8:33:11 PM Emily Gallo says: good work

8:35:07 PM Emily Gallo says: whoa maksim can cha cha

8:36:43 PM Joe Poulas says: I'll say

8:37:58 PM Emily Gallo says: hahaha this guy is bad news

8:38:24 PM Joe Poulas says: Life is very good.  Kung Pao and SYTYCD!

8:38:36 PM Emily Gallo says: great combo!

8:38:46 PM Emily Gallo says: oops maybe i judged too quickly

8:39:32 PM Joe Poulas says: Bad news, you were right

8:39:56 PM Joe Poulas says: Na-boo-Ya

8:40:33 PM Emily Gallo says: hmm well he doesnt want to do other styles, so i guess thats it for him

8:41:29 PM Emily Gallo says: yes lauren!!

8:41:46 PM Joe Poulas says: Hey.  What?

8:42:00 PM Joe Poulas says: Oh, Lauren...Love her.  A Season three superstar.

8:43:59 PM Joe Poulas says: Do you think you are better off trying out early so that they can't fill too many spots?

8:44:09 PM Joe Poulas says: The last cities seem at a disadvantage

8:44:34 PM Emily Gallo says: i guess so...but i bet they have a limit on how many they take from the first few cities

8:45:20 PM Emily Gallo says: or maybe they don't have a limit, because they take a lot to vegas so maybe if they still like a lot of people in the last city they still take them and then just make a really big first cut

8:47:43 PM Joe Poulas says: We need to find out if they have a total limit

8:47:57 PM Emily Gallo says: ill google

8:50:10 PM Joe Poulas says: As much as I love this show I still have an issue with all of the interpretive emotions...i never believe it

8:50:25 PM Emily Gallo says: haha

8:50:36 PM Emily Gallo says: i can't find the answer to our question

8:51:44 PM Joe Poulas says: this show loves return try outs

8:51:51 PM Joe Poulas says: they get all sappy for familiar faces

8:52:00 PM Emily Gallo says: oh man your life would be complete if you were the 6 time male baton twirling champion

8:52:20 PM Joe Poulas says: Yes, it would...my five times pales in comparison

8:53:18 PM Joe Poulas says: Are people okay?  Where does the lack of sense of self come from

8:53:23 PM Joe Poulas says: I know there are things I can't do

8:53:38 PM Joe Poulas says: Um, did her bite her?

8:53:44 PM Emily Gallo says: do they actually think they're good?

8:53:46 PM Emily Gallo says: and yes i think he did

8:53:54 PM Joe Poulas says: they do

8:54:13 PM Joe Poulas says: Holy Shit, that girl is 250 lbs and she did a split!

8:54:20 PM Emily Gallo says: haha

8:55:19 PM Emily Gallo says: wow!

8:55:35 PM Emily Gallo says: did you see the latin ballroom dancers yet?!

8:55:39 PM Joe Poulas says: WOW

8:55:56 PM Joe Poulas says: she's is going to throw up from spinning

8:56:07 PM Emily Gallo says: her abs are awesome

8:56:09 PM Emily Gallo says: i'm jealous

8:56:14 PM Joe Poulas says: hmm, didn't notice

8:57:23 PM Emily Gallo says: i think it’s unfair that couples almost always have to go to choreography

8:57:39 PM Joe Poulas says: Me too, they should have gone through

8:57:44 PM Emily Gallo says: yeah

8:58:01 PM Joe Poulas says: okay, it's time to talk about Cat

8:59:08 PM Emily Gallo says: when she had the grill is still my favorite

8:59:22 PM Emily Gallo says: and twitch's glasses

9:00:02 PM Joe Poulas says: Yeah, I forgot how in love with her Dominic was

9:00:11 PM Emily Gallo says: haha oh yeah...aw Dom

9:00:13 PM Emily Gallo says: i liked him

9:00:24 PM Joe Poulas says: me too

9:00:51 PM Joe Poulas says: So here's the deal.  I would give your left arm to "get to know her" better

9:01:06 PM Emily Gallo says: MY left arm?

9:01:08 PM Emily Gallo says: why not yours?

9:01:19 PM Joe Poulas says: Sorry kid, but I'll need mine

9:01:28 PM Emily Gallo says: and i don't?

9:01:37 PM Joe Poulas says: You won't have Cat, I will

9:01:42 PM Emily Gallo says: haha...fine

9:02:23 PM Emily Gallo says: oh man using an umbrella in your dance is just lame

9:02:51 PM Joe Poulas says: yeah, lame lame

9:04:09 PM Joe Poulas says: did he make up that dead aunt story?

9:04:17 PM Emily Gallo says: totally

9:04:26 PM Joe Poulas says: he did, what a dick

9:04:45 PM Joe Poulas says: a liar always talks too much, and he won't shut up

9:04:56 PM Emily Gallo says: and he's hysterically crying

9:05:03 PM Joe Poulas says: wow

9:05:15 PM Joe Poulas says: why do they like him

9:05:17 PM Joe Poulas says: he sucks

9:05:22 PM Emily Gallo says: haha well he didn't suck

9:05:29 PM Emily Gallo says: but he wasn't that amazing

9:05:34 PM Emily Gallo says: WEST ORANGE, NJ!

9:05:46 PM Joe Poulas says: Proud to be from

West Orange

9:05:53 PM Emily Gallo says: haha

9:06:13 PM Joe Poulas says: I was married in West Orange

9:06:18 PM Emily Gallo says: true

9:06:38 PM Emily Gallo says: actually you were married in Roseland..you just partied in

West orange

9:06:50 PM Joe Poulas says: right, it was a hell of a party

9:07:27 PM Emily Gallo says: he was cool

9:07:39 PM Joe Poulas says: Every hip hop guy seems like a lesser version of Twitch though

9:07:44 PM Emily Gallo says: yeah i know

9:09:03 PM Joe Poulas says: Is there an Idol equivalent of the choreography round?

9:09:08 PM Emily Gallo says: no

9:09:22 PM Emily Gallo says: oh man that awesome couple got split up

9:09:51 PM Joe Poulas says: they love doing that

9:10:10 PM Joe Poulas says: and why won't nigel say chimezie's name right...some respect please! It’s CHA-mee-zay

9:10:16 PM Emily Gallo says: oh that crazy contemporary girl is judging

9:10:17 PM Emily Gallo says: yeah seriously

9:10:28 PM Joe Poulas says: CAT!

9:10:43 PM Emily Gallo says: she got all sweaty

9:10:59 PM Joe Poulas says: She really seems genuinely nice.  Why would she hug that sweaty man so much if she wasn't?

9:11:22 PM Emily Gallo says: i know...we should go find her

9:11:27 PM Emily Gallo says: and hang out

9:11:38 PM Joe Poulas says: right "hang out"

9:12:07 PM Emily Gallo says: exactly

9:14:10 PM Emily Gallo says: whoa did you realize we're more than halfway through already

9:14:50 PM Joe Poulas says: funny, i just thought the same thing

9:15:00 PM Joe Poulas says: is it all the witty banter?

9:15:08 PM Emily Gallo says: certainly

9:15:40 PM Joe Poulas says: Denver is too cold to have good dancers

9:15:52 PM Emily Gallo says: haha

9:15:57 PM Emily Gallo says: well we shall see

9:16:14 PM Joe Poulas says: I think mary will cry

9:16:20 PM Emily Gallo says: most likely

9:16:25 PM Joe Poulas says: Sonya is cooky.  I'm afraid of her

9:16:44 PM Emily Gallo says: me too, she's creepy

9:16:48 PM Joe Poulas says: Her choreography was cool though

9:16:58 PM Joe Poulas says: Sob Story Alert!

9:17:10 PM Emily Gallo says: she’s gonna be awesome clearly

9:17:33 PM Joe Poulas says: or back to stripping full time

9:17:49 PM Emily Gallo says: oh be nice she's only like 18

9:17:58 PM Joe Poulas says: sorry

9:18:09 PM Joe Poulas says: how come so many dancers do bird impressions?

9:18:37 PM Emily Gallo says: good question

9:18:53 PM Emily Gallo says: i love how sonja talks about things..."it was so slippery"

9:19:02 PM Joe Poulas says: ewwww

9:19:39 PM Emily Gallo says: aww grandpa's crying

9:20:00 PM Joe Poulas says: no parents+dancer=stripper

9:20:21 PM Emily Gallo says: haha perhaps

9:24:59 PM Joe Poulas says: I'm not watching Mental

9:25:29 PM Emily Gallo says: me neither

9:25:41 PM Emily Gallo says: sonja is crazy

9:25:59 PM Emily Gallo says: yes men in leotards!

9:26:08 PM Joe Poulas says: craaaazy, she said that one girl made her think of what her children should be

9:26:14 PM Joe Poulas says: YES

9:26:17 PM Joe Poulas says: oh no

9:26:25 PM Joe Poulas says: OH NO

9:26:30 PM Emily Gallo says: same sex ballroom!

9:26:36 PM Joe Poulas says: We are breaking down barriers people

9:26:44 PM Emily Gallo says: and one is straight and one is gay

9:26:47 PM Joe Poulas says: Um, Blades of Glory

9:27:01 PM Emily Gallo says: yessssssss

9:27:38 PM Joe Poulas says: He just said that two men dancing is very masculine to start with...hahahahahahahahaha

9:27:46 PM Emily Gallo says: hahaa

9:28:03 PM Emily Gallo says: OH NO

9:28:05 PM Emily Gallo says: they fell!

9:28:15 PM Joe Poulas says: hellooooo, you are ahead of me

9:28:24 PM Emily Gallo says: sorry

9:28:25 PM Emily Gallo says: it was shocking

9:28:34 PM Joe Poulas says: OOOOOOHHHHHHH

9:28:39 PM Emily Gallo says: HAHAHAHAH NIGEL JUST REFERENCED BLADES OF GLORY

9:28:51 PM Joe Poulas says: did you hear the sound of all that meat hitting the floor?

9:29:06 PM Joe Poulas says: I love Nigel

9:29:16 PM Emily Gallo says: he didn't really like the male on male contact

9:29:35 PM Joe Poulas says: I can't believe Nigel said that they would alienate the audience

9:29:43 PM Joe Poulas says: Closed minded

9:29:43 PM Emily Gallo says: yeah i know

9:30:41 PM Joe Poulas says: Sonya called him out

9:30:48 PM Emily Gallo says: yeah she did

9:31:10 PM Joe Poulas says: split em up...dance off!

9:32:10 PM Joe Poulas says: wait, their names are mitch and mischa...wow

9:32:19 PM Emily Gallo says: haha yeah you didn't notice that?

9:32:23 PM Joe Poulas says: no

9:32:32 PM Emily Gallo says: wait we have swimmer dancers coming up

9:32:49 PM Joe Poulas says: your future

9:33:10 PM Emily Gallo says: yes

9:33:20 PM Emily Gallo says: hey are you forgetting about my past hip hop career

9:33:25 PM Emily Gallo says: i'm already there

9:33:35 PM Joe Poulas says: never...the video will be embedded in this post

9:33:48 PM Emily Gallo says: haha too bad its only on vhs...and locked away in the basement

9:33:59 PM Joe Poulas says: so you think...your mom and I talk a lot

9:34:03 PM Emily Gallo says: haha

9:34:59 PM Joe Poulas says: don't worry, if anyone ever saw my wedding video they wouldn't even remember your past hip hop career...scary

9:35:05 PM Emily Gallo says: hahaha

9:37:45 PM Joe Poulas says: So we are almost done...any faves yet?

9:38:01 PM Emily Gallo says: hmm i dunno...i like arthritis girl

9:38:03 PM Emily Gallo says: and stripper girl

9:38:12 PM Joe Poulas says: arthritis girl is the only one so far for me

9:38:31 PM Emily Gallo says: why is this cat light saber girl on here?

9:38:47 PM Joe Poulas says: don't know but Nigel hates the jokers

9:39:07 PM Joe Poulas says: psychoooooooo

9:39:33 PM Joe Poulas says: I love the space references in their critiques

9:39:51 PM Emily Gallo says: haha yeah

9:40:16 PM Emily Gallo says: and its time for the crazies

9:40:46 PM Joe Poulas says: BTW, what is Mary wearing?

9:41:02 PM Emily Gallo says: who knows...she's trying to be Denver-ish

9:42:20 PM Emily Gallo says: swimmer dancers are cool

9:42:34 PM Joe Poulas says: These two are the youngest of 14...hello religious people

9:42:53 PM Emily Gallo says: clearly not too religious because they dance

9:43:06 PM Joe Poulas says: i guess so

9:43:14 PM Joe Poulas says: are they good or really bad

9:43:22 PM Emily Gallo says: i think they're good

9:43:38 PM Joe Poulas says: i say bad

9:43:50 PM Emily Gallo says: he's going to choreography though

9:44:03 PM Joe Poulas says: you just like him cause he swims

9:44:13 PM Emily Gallo says: hahah maybe

9:44:41 PM Joe Poulas says: they all try and be happy that they go through to choreography

9:45:16 PM Emily Gallo says: yeah i know but really they know they only have like a 20% chance of going through

9:45:38 PM Joe Poulas says: yup, and i can't believe his brother was only there to assist

9:45:53 PM Emily Gallo says: yeah i know...he's 16, isnt that the minimum age?

9:46:11 PM Joe Poulas says: i thought so

9:46:17 PM Emily Gallo says: maybe he wasn't ready

9:49:14 PM Emily Gallo says: yessssss brandon

9:49:18 PM Joe Poulas says: hey

9:49:19 PM Emily Gallo says: and natalie!

9:49:20 PM Joe Poulas says: wtf

9:49:27 PM Emily Gallo says: thats kaytee's roommie

9:49:42 PM Joe Poulas says: i hate you...the delay is like 30 seconds

9:49:47 PM Emily Gallo says: sorrrrrrrry

9:49:52 PM Joe Poulas says: YAY!

9:50:39 PM Joe Poulas says: I love those girls

9:51:18 PM Joe Poulas says: Nigel got all judgy with Kaytee and then she DOMINATED

9:51:36 PM Emily Gallo says: yeahh..but she shouldn't have said that she wouldn’t try out again

9:52:32 PM Emily Gallo says: oh no sonya is having a meltdown

9:52:43 PM Joe Poulas says: Was Natalie really that good?

9:52:50 PM Emily Gallo says: yeah

9:52:54 PM Joe Poulas says: oh

9:53:12 PM Joe Poulas says: i thought her arms could have been extended more...i am very embarrassed, yes

9:53:24 PM Emily Gallo says: haha

9:54:26 PM Joe Poulas says: it is weird when they say they hope a person will go to the top 20 when it is their choice anyway

9:54:28 PM Emily Gallo says: and now for my favorite ever

9:54:37 PM Joe Poulas says: oh, I know

9:55:03 PM Joe Poulas says: he was freaking awesome

9:55:15 PM Emily Gallo says: look at his legs, he's a beast

9:55:19 PM Joe Poulas says: a beast

9:55:37 PM Joe Poulas says: he will suffer from the same issue as Will though, not enough personality

9:55:40 PM Joe Poulas says: Will was great too

9:55:46 PM Emily Gallo says: yeahh you're right

9:55:59 PM Emily Gallo says: oh Mary's in tears

9:56:18 PM Joe Poulas says: Oh my god

9:56:30 PM Joe Poulas says: She is a bit silly

9:56:35 PM Emily Gallo says: yeah just a tad

9:56:42 PM Emily Gallo says: oh see Nigel just mentioned personality

9:56:48 PM Joe Poulas says: Why the hell didn't he make it last year then you idiots?

9:56:52 PM Emily Gallo says: you and Nigel are on the same wavelength

9:56:58 PM Joe Poulas says: I should be a judge

9:58:24 PM Emily Gallo says: wow they only took 19 from vegas

9:58:38 PM Joe Poulas says: how many did they take from NY?

9:58:55 PM Emily Gallo says: i think 27?

9:58:59 PM Joe Poulas says: ouch

9:59:01 PM Joe Poulas says: told you so

9:59:14 PM Emily Gallo says: yes tyce next week

9:59:19 PM Joe Poulas says: Yes

9:59:37 PM Joe Poulas says: Well Emily Gallo, tomorrow you will be famous.  Any last thoughts on our first of many marathons?  Will anyone care?

9:59:54 PM Emily Gallo says: i hope so...but if not, i enjoyed it

10:00:40 PM Joe Poulas says: good times, thanks for joining me.  things are really going to get good when we hit the final 20.  Our audience will be wracked with tension

10:01:01 PM Emily Gallo says: yep well enjoy the rest of your night SYTYCD groupie

10:01:10 PM Joe Poulas says: Bye

10:01:19 PM Emily Gallo says: bye

Summary: People danced, most were mediocre, and some were so bad I felt funny inside.  Mary screamed, Sonya cried and used wierd descriptive words like "slippery," and Tabitha and Napolean were encouraging.

Dancers to watch: Natalie (Kaytee from Season 4's roommate), Brandon (last elimination from season 4), rheumatoid arthritis girl, and girl from Denver who may or may not be a stripper.  Oh, and there was a male on male couple that made Nigel feel funny inside.

The Trap In Which I'm Ensnared

Let's be friends, originally uploaded by unfinished dad.

Parenting today comes with many pitfalls. From this addiction to having the smartest baby in the room, to amassing all the best gear. My least favorite trap that parents fall into though, is the matching outfit thing. So, let me apologize in advance and offer these to caveats: I didn't buy the outfits, and they look damn cute, don't they?

On A More Serious Note...

Yesterday's post wasn't quite serious enough for my taste.  Let's move on to something a bit more important.  2009 is looking like a very good year.

Lost

How long does it take to tell someone that your children are 13 months and 1 day apart?  Let's say it out loud and time it.  Okay, slightly less than three seconds.  That's how long I took my eyes off of Annie at the playground today, and poof, she was gone.

I assumed she had gone behind the climbing wall and would soon pop out on the other side, so I walked to my left to head her off.  There were about twenty other kids there, ranging from Tilda's age to twelve years old.  This wasn't the busiest playground in the neighborhood.  There was a middle aged man frantically chasing around five children.  They screamed and laughed up the ladders and down the slides.  Before she disappeared, Annie was trying to keep up with them, always getting tripped up in their feverish wake.

When I realized that Annie hadn't gone behind the climbing wall, my heart did one of those little "what if" hiccups.  I knew that she was going to be in one of two places: underneath the bouncy walkway making "dinner" out of wood chips, or climbing up the steps to one of the slides.  I checked her kitchen first and it was empty.  At this point, the woman I was talking to picked up on my vibe and asked me where my daughter had gone.  I said that she must be climbing the stairs and we both walked casually around the entire jungle gym to where we started.  I don't know about her, but my calm demeanor was, at this point, mostly fake.

There was still a large part of me that knew she was somewhere within 20 feet of me, but I just couldn't see where.  So I took a few steps backward to get a wider view of the park.  Before me was a mass of children, bordered by onlooking adults.  They all had their eyes on the backs of their kids.  From my left, at the pre-school, to my right, at the tennis courts, Leland Park was missing one important thing.  My 22 month old daughter.

I'm not one to panic or show emotion in public.  I was cool on the outside.  My stomach roiled.  I held Tilda tight, but contemplated handing her to the woman I was speaking with.  I didn't even know her name.  How could I give her my second, accounted for, child?  Instead, she canvassed the area with me.  I didn't have to ask.  

My search now started to cover the streets surrounding us.  I was certain to find Annie walking in front of an oncoming car, or on the other side of the parking lot, wandering into the nearest tear down's construction site.  It could not have been more than a minute since I told my fellow searcher of their age differences, but it started to weigh on me like ten.  I had done two laps, climbed all the stairs, and looked in every hiding spot imaginable.

I now had two thoughts.  The man chasing the kids, and the 10 year-old boy on the playground yesterday who I found showing Annie how to lunge at someone with a stick that was meant to be a knife.  The immature adult was accounted for, and the idea that the 10 year-old was here without my knowledge was outlandish, even in my state.  That left one thing.  Someone had actually taken her.

I felt a bit dreamy, like I was in a Lifetime movie.  I didn't know where else I was supposed to look, or what I was supposed to do next.  Don't they always talk about what a person does in the first few minutes of a catastrophe?

"Got her."  That was all my new-found friend said, and though I still couldn't see Annie, my heart settled back into place.  I came around the jungle gym to find another woman taking Annie out of the baby swing.  She told me that Annie had asked to go in the swing, and that she was asking for daddy.  Who on earth puts someone else's child in a swing without at least looking for their parent?  And Annie doesn't say daddy, she says dada.  I was too puzzled and relieved to ask her about this, so I casually finished my conversation, watching Annie run past me, not even knowing that she was lost.

Loaded

This picture says so much about my life.  Loaded down with babies and groceries, I am a man about town.  I conserve our natural  resources by walking to the grocery store, and simultaneously destroy them by forgetting my reusable bags.  There are two very important things missing from this photo.  One, the buff calves of the double-stroller pushing daddy, and two, the Dunkin' Donuts coffee cup that gets him through the day.