Unfinished Dad

Dear Dentist, This Is Annie. Good Luck.

Annie's first dentist appointment is today.  I'm not convinced it's time and I'm not convinced she will keep it cool.  Many years ago, my wife was asked never to return to her family dentist due to her constant meltdowns.  And Annie and my wife are more similar than I thought possible given their 27 years of separation.

In an oddly prescient coincidence, I give you this post from Sweet Juniper this morning.  

Tested: Blackberry Storm Gel Lens

Tested: Blackberry Storm Gel Lens, originally uploaded by unfinished dad.

I went out and had the new Blackberry Storm Gel Lens installed in my phone Tilda smeared chewed up goldfish all over my phone, including the camera lens, and the results are stunning. Annie, of course, was the perfect subject in her size-too-small boots, mother's scarf, and IKEA birthday cake hat.

Windy Day On The National Mall

Last Thursday we found ourselves doing some sightseeing (another relative in town) on The National Mall.  It was the windiest day in the history of the world.  The Washington Monument was closed down because it was bent over like a young willow tree in a tornado.  It was so windy that Tilda couldn't walk without assistance.

While there, we stumbled upon The Solar Decathlon, a tremendously nerdy, super cool event in which colleges from around the country compete to create the baddest "green" home they can.  I liked these.

The competition finishes up this weekend and is worth taking a look, that is if all the homes haven't been blown away.

So You Think You Can Dance, Vegas

Dear Emily,

Like an overweight football player at the end of double sessions, I’m tired.  The city to city audition process is finally over and I couldn’t be more relieved.  It’s time to get down to business and select our top 20.  There are some familiar faces amongst the 150 some odd contestants and others that are noticeably absent.  Before we get to Vegas though, I need to update my top 20.  Salt Lake City was a good, not great, audition town, so I’m only putting one dancer through to the big show.  Her name is Iveta Lukosiute, and despite her woefully whorish makeup, she can freaking dance.  Every season needs a great female ballroom dancer and she is it.

So let’s put her in the mix with…

Mollee Gray, Bianca Tapdancer, Paula Pixie Hair, Sasha Mallory, Russell Ferguson, Billy Bell, Jamal Jackson, Victor Smalley, Jonathan Litzler, Diana Drexler, Nathan (the 17 year old from season five).

I know that is only 12 people, but as we have seen, the producers often miss some great dancers (like Ade) early on and then they spring them on us during Vegas week.

Speaking of Vegas, this is a two part post so...on we go.  Okay, I keep hoping that Natalie’s face is going to pop up from the crowd and that she will fulfill her destiny by making the top 20.  It isn’t going to happen though, they broke her heart.  Or more likely, she just wasn’t ever that good.  We saw a bit of this with Evan Kasprzak’s brother Ryan last night.  He barely made the first round of cuts and then got the axe in the second.  He was never as well rounded as Evan.  They only kept the two around for drama’s sake, all the while convincing Ryan that his bald dome would actually work in HD.  Not happening.

Most of the night went according to form, with the favorites sailing through the first two days of auditions.  One notable exception was Jonathan Litzler who was this season’s recipient of the strangely hyper-critical judging moment.  Nigel was all over him and said, “The lights are on, but nobody’s home.” Ouch.  We also finally got rid of that creepy little golem Teddy Tedholm.  I never understand the fascination.

Em, let me reiterate my biggest issue with our favorite show, while simultaneously patting myself on the back.  There are too many dancers who got cut from this summer’s season that are now headed directly for the Top 20.  You know I have been all about Paula (telegenic, pixie haircut girl) and she seems to be a judge favorite.  Like my pick of Evan (fucking brilliant, no?) two years ago, I expect big things from Paula.  We also saw terrible Caitlin’s little sister Megan.  However, they never mentioned her time dancing on season five, strange.

Let’s end on a complaint via a question.  Do you think that the dance pairings for Vegas are random?  There were a couple of duos last night in which a so-so male really benefited from having a stellar female partner, especially during Pasha’s ballroom routine.  

Talk to you next week, and if you didn’t notice, I only lost one dancer from my Top 20.  I think the kids say Booyah!

Joe

Coping With An Ear, Eye, Nose, Throat, Hell, Whole Freaking Body Virus

The first clue: Four days ago Annie tells me her ear hurts.

The first mistake: I ignore this info.

The second clue: Three nights ago Annie wakes up coughing.

The second mistake: I ignore this info too.  A detective, I am not.

The third clue: Two days ago Annie has eye booger the size and shape of cooked orzo.

The third mistake: Despite keen scientific interest, I ignore this.

The fourth clue: Yesterday Annie wakes up with right eye completely covered in cocoon of yellow goop.  Says via baby monitor, "Daaad, there's something in my eye."

The fourth mistake: I try and wipe cocoon away with my sleeve.  Slimy.  But call doctor immediately.

The fifth clue: The doctor asks, while looking in Annie's ear and saying "Hmm, this is a mess," if Annie has had any pain or symptoms and I promptly have one of those The Sixth Sense moments.

The fifth mistake: I tell her the truth and she looks at me over her little ear flashlight thingy like I am the parenting equal of Alec Baldwin.

Beware of Overt Greenness

It goes without saying that the effort to be more "green" is both a positive and permanent trend.  But let's not forget that many of the companies selling us (and our children) "green" products are more interested in the "selling" than the "greening".  David Schwimmer's appearance as Greenzo on 30 Rock a couple of years ago sums this up best.  And with reports of even more BPA free bottles containing epic amounts of the yummy stuff, it's important to realize that no matter how much you want to believe the lotus flower on your water bottle's logo means Gaiam has your best interests in mind, their interests rate higher.

The Statue Of, Uh, David?

The Statue Of, Uh, David?, originally uploaded by unfinished dad.

Sure they're lucky to have me staying home with them, but unless they find a more suitable teacher, artists they will never be. And yes, that is hair on the top of his head. And a unibrow. But no hands, I guess.

The Annual At-Home Dad Convention

Normally I have this annual gala, at home, with myself as the honorary speaker.  This year I thought I would spice things up a bit and put together a little something out in Omaha for the daddies.  I wonder though, how many at-home dads are there in the entire state of Nebraska?  Maybe the convention should be moved somewhere nearer a major body of water.  Oh, and don't be turned off by the casting call for the At-Home Dad Reality Show, the folks at Mad Fusion Media assure me that no cameras will be present at the convention.  So come on out to Omaha, you don't want to miss the Bob Kerrey Pedestrian Bridge, the longest pedestrian bridge to connect two states in the country.

Fall Weekend In The Nation's Capital

This past we found ourselves enjoying one of those impossible weather weekends here in Washington, DC.  Fall in the mornings and evenings, and summer in the middle of the day, we were out and about...

Searching for Trash and Treasure...

Romping at the playground...

House Hunting (we were told by an agent that we are "tire kickers")...

And eating ice cream at the Takoma Park Street Festival...

Nay, saving the environment by eating ice cream cones at the Takoma Park Street Festival...

Pitchfork's Top 20 Albums of The Decade

Great read, if you like this sort of thing.  It's also worth checking out the article about "indie" music as a whole.  Let me also take this moment to make one last pitch for you to listen to Arcade Fire's Funeral before the decade ends and you lose out on the opportunity to understand.