Unfinished Dad

...And Snowing And Snowing And WTF?

We broke the all-time annual snowfall record here in Washington, DC today. Our total for the year is now a robust 55 inches. Yes, that's almost five feet of snow. Take that, 1898! Your 54 inches are so 19th century. 

I'm torn between wishing my kids were old enough to remember this epic winter and feeling lucky that they won't. That would be a pretty spoiled way to grow up. Things here are different now. Everyone has a warped view of life. A neighbor told me today as he trampled by, "Did you hear? Another 20 inches this weekend!" That is what snowmageddon will do to a person. Two months ago we would have been happy with a single snowstorm of 10 inches. Now we expect a couple of feet every fifth day. Good, genuinely, good times.

The yardstick stretched to the limit.

Our street.

Bethesda Row.

Landmark Theatre.   

...And Snowing And Snowing...

Friday, 3:00PM. 

Friday, 11:00PM.

Saturday, 5:30PM.

This is what we looked like last evening. Two more feet to come on Tuesday and Wednesday! Let Kaiser Snowze rule the Nation's capital forever!    

Washington Winter Wonderland or "Dad, My Hands Are Cold!"

In case you live under a rock or in another hemisphere, we had the storm of the millennium here in Washington, DC over the weekend.  It was a wonderful time of neighborhood camaraderie, childlike frolicking and childhood memories.  23 inches of snow is a lot for any city, especially this one, and it saddens me to think that my children may never see a storm that big again.  

First look.

Unofficial measurement...um, about waist deep.

Warm chocolate chip cookies.

Really Dad? 33 inches in 1996?  Hmmm.

 

Swine Flu Vaccine Recall

Maybe you have heard that 800,000 doses of Swine Flu vaccine have been recalled for what is being termed a "loss of strength."  The doses in question are somehow 12% below the government standard of effectiveness.  This is a new concept to me.  Could they make a vaccine that is 12% above that standard?  Would that vaccine be more likely to give your child actual Swine Flu?  Is the goal for companies like Sanofi Pasteur - who made the vaccines in question - to try and thread the needle and nail the effectiveness right at 100%.  This all seems a little suspect.

When I called our pediatrician today to find out if the doses that Annie and Tilda received last week were on the recall list, the answer was "They haven't let us know yet."  Hmmm.  Hardly encouraging.  When I asked the nurse when they thought they might "know," she said she wasn't sure.  Great.

The question is, if my kids doses are 12% less effective than expected, should they get another two doses instead of the typical one?  Nobody seems to have a definitive answer on that one.  It sounds like a judgement call.  Good luck parents!

Do My Children Have Swine Flu?

Okay, so I know what the medical establishment will tell me about the above question, but I have some concerns.  Both of my kids received the first round of H1N1 vaccines on Wednesday and both of my kids woke up with identically colored, jelly-like, escape-the-diaper diarrhea this morning.  I know this is one of the questions they ask when they are diagnosing a case of swine flu so, you know, I'm just asking. 

They have no other symptoms to speak of, but I am officially skeptical.  Go ahead, tell me I'm crazy.

Swine Flu Vaccines and The Kids Who Love Them

Yesterday I took the girls to the doctor to verify that the lingering cough they've had for a month wasn't tuberculosis.  Turns out it was exactly what my instinct said—a cough.  I guess it's better to be safe than sorry, but every time I take them to the doctor I leave unsurprised and out $40.  I'm just an insignificant cog in the giant wheel that is the healthcare system.

While we were there, I decided to get them their swine flu vaccines and seasonal flu booster shots.  Normally this would be something I scheduled for a time my wife could be there to lend a hand, but when the doctor made the offer of not having to go to the practice's clinic, I lost my head and went for it.  What can I say, I'm a risk taker.

We started with Annie, who saw the syringes and declared that she didn't want any "pinches."  But our nurse, Faith, calmed her down with promises of stickers.  Annie took a shot in each arm, head held high, cried for a few seconds, and them immediately got down from her chair wondering where the promised stickers were.  She was a champ.

The light didn't dawn in Tilda's eyes until she felt the alcohol swabs on her chubby little shoulders.  And, now that she has discovered that insidious idea of free will, she was prepared to exercise it.  Faith had to wipe her arms down more than once because Tilda kept wriggling loose.  Subconsciously I must have been trying to let her escape.  When I finally got it through my head that I was the problem, I held her tightly and allowed the inevitable to happen.  Then the water works started.  Tilda has been very emotional lately. Yet even that little emotional sixteen month-old was soothed by goldfish (the multicolored ones of course) and a smiley face sticker.

I have to give most of the credit for how easily the whole appointment went down to Faith, who now has a friend for life in Annie, even though Annie pronounces her name "Fake."  We couldn't leave the office without Annie getting in a few hugs and goodbyes.  I'll never let another person give my kids their shots.  Thank you, Faith.

The People, They're Atwitter About Twilight

Employee #1: You wanna go to the movies tonight?

Employee #2: And see what?

Employee #1: Twilight!

Employee #2: What's that?

Employee #1 (while bouncing excitedly): It's this movie where this girl, she's in love with two guys, and they're both Vampires!  And one of the guys, he turns into a Werewolf!

Employee #2: I don't know.

Employee #1 (now positively joyous): You have to see the special effects!  The werewolf looks so real!  C'mon, I wanna see it again.

Employee #2: Okay.  Okay.

Two tweens overheard at Forever 21 while shopping at the mall this weekend?  No, two forty something men overheard while prepping our Christmas tree for us in the parking lot of the Whole Foods in Tenleytown.

Global Eggo Crisis?

Woodward!  Bernstein!  Get on this Eggo shortage story, like, today.  Petula Dvorak's article, though entertaining, is not enough.  We need answers.  We need in depth analysis.  Pictures of the closed plants.  Interviews with Kellogs' executives on why they aren't relocating all the little old ladies from the "Tennessee waffle factory" who are making waffles from scratch every day and boxing them up for my large scale consumption needs.  Like Elaine and the Today sponge, I will be stocking up. 

In eight grocery stores across Maryland, Virginia and the District, I found warnings of a dire situation and a tough year ahead. Signs taped to the freezer doors warn of a "shortage" and allude to a "situation." A Giant supermarket in Rockville said it best in two, purple-markered words written next to a column of empty shelves: "Eggo problem."

Get out your hockey gear.  If I see you at Giant today and there is only one family sized box left, it's you or me, and one of us is going into the glass.

Swine Flu Update

Matilda's 15 month checkup was this morning.  Good news!—she’s average.  She landed firmly in the 50th percentile for everything.  Height, weight, head, and all those fun developmental indices are what you would expect out a second child, a child whose parents forget that they used to monitor those things like the weather.  She did come up in the 90th percentile on the Alfred Hitchcock jowl density and buttony chin index.  So there's that.

On a related note, we have decided to get her and her sister the seasonal and swine flu vaccines.  They were, obviously, out of the swine, but good ol' seasonal was freshly stocked.  Now that the decision is made I feel kind of funny about it.  As I type this, Matilda is upstairs napping with influenza, no matter the amount, swimming around in her system.

Phew, Billy Corgan Says My Kids Don't Need The Swine Flu Vaccine After All

Rest easy friends of Unfinished Dad.  I no longer need to worry about vaccinating Annie and Tilda.  Though swine flu is still a serious threat, a government created one no less, Billy Corgan of Smashing Pumpkins fame says this whole national emergency thing is just fear mongering to sell more pharmaceuticals.  You know what, I kind of agree with him.  Well, about the fear mongering part anyway.

"Our American President Obama has declared a national emergency about this virus, which he in his own words said was, at this point, a preventative measure. So, why declare an emergency if there isn’t one? ... I am more focused on the vibration that has us all so fearful: both for how the fear affects our thinking, and how, in our fear, we attract the worst, and, in conjunction with that, how those fears are used by others without integrity to try to create a power against Us to promote discomfort and dis-ease."

I feel better.  You?