Unfinished Dad

The Good, The Bad And The Ugly

The weekend saw a couple of hits and misses here in Chevy Chase.  The weather finally turned from biblical to beautiful, and on Sunday we drove over to Great Falls Park to make the most of it.  With a few thousand of our friends, we took advantage of a rare mid-November 70 degree day, collectively trying to keep our children from jumping into the river.  Tilda didn't seem to understand that, in this one instance, she was not afforded the same luxuries as the dog.  The more I kept her from the river's edge, the more she cried.  Eventually she pulled a page out of her sister's book and lay in the dirt crying until we gave up and left.  Now, the camera doesn't work without a memory card, so here is a photo that a friend of ours took right as Tilda reached the water.

This weekend also saw a setback in the sleep department.  Annie has decided that she doesn't want to sleep without her best friend.  I have tried everything from ignoring her cries, to rationalizing with her, to bribing her with presents.  Last night I asked her, after an hour of crying, what she would rather have, a present for trying to sleep unassisted or her Bob. She took me for the fool I was, and two seconds later she was sleeping soundly, Bob firmly in mouth.  What do I do now?

Finally, we seemed to have reached the critical mass of ensnared cave crickets in order ward off any newcomers to my basement.  There are now eight traps down there.  Four of them are completely full and the remaining four vary from half full to a lone cricket in the trap furthest from the washing machine.  He was either an outcast or a fool.  Though, considering his massive size, he may have just been the baddest, most adventurous.  I'm not about to call this battle over - reinforcements can't be too far off - but I think I can keep the upper hand if there are always glue traps spread around the basement.  They really seem to love huffing that gel.

Cave Cricket Carnage

The first time I saw a cave cricket I was a 17 year-old living in Highland Lakes, New Jersey.  I was upstairs in my parent's house when I looked over the railing of our balcony and saw what a thought was a four inch spider walking across the floor downstairs.  I quickly realized that for my girlfriend and I to leave the house we would have to cross the beast's path.  Like the man I have always been, I promptly dressed in long sleeves and pants and put on a knit hat, despite the summer night's heat.  The only two weapons at my disposal were a large plastic container full of clothing and a shovel from the fireplace.  I unwisely chose the shovel and my first whack merely rebounded off the rug and the crustacean like shell.  The spider-like creature walked nonchalantly away.  This was no spider, but a new animal never before seen on this continent.  What was supposed to be a secondary weapon, now became an escape plan.  I told my girlfriend to put on her coat and I dropped the thirty pound tupperware on the land lobster and ran barefoot out of the house.

My family would have been miffed at my staying out all night at a girl's house so, after dropping her off, I knocked on my best friend Mike's door, waking his parents.  They took me in, as I was now a refugee, and I didn't go home 'til the next morning, and only then to gather some clothes for work.  When I got there all evidence of a battle was gone.  Apparently when my parents lifted the top to my cave cricket tomb, the bug stretched it's legs and walked back into the basement from whence it came.

Flash forward 16 years and I, as I'm sure all of you, are now very familiar with cave crickets.  They seem to populate every basement in the land.  Yesterday I took matters into my own hands and bought some glue traps at the local hardware store.  I was skeptical.  

Well, I am a skeptic no more.  There are four more just like this.  For the faint of heart, I sincerely apologize.

So what's the grossest thing living in your basement?  And do you think this is where the missing socks go?